Saturday 25 May 2019

Let's not talk about it......

It's odd, given that the one certain fact for all of us is that we shall die, that we avoid talking about dying, and often avoid making preparations for it. But this week I had the rare opportunity to speak to someone about their coming death, in a frank and refreshing way. The man knows he is dying, and that it won't be long. There are some in his family to whom he can talk about this, and others who steer the conversation away to other topics.

We talked openly about the preparations he had made, starting with the arrangements for the funeral, which were full and detailed. I moved the conversation on after that to preparations for his soul, given that he is a devout Christian. This was more difficult for him, but after Holy Communion and prayers, he confessed that the had moved on and found comfort in what had been said and done and prayed.

We prepare in some way for all the great events in life; a wedding, a holiday, a birthday celebration, and exam, a dinner party, moving house; the list is endless. But not so much for dying. For what it will mean for us, and for those we leave behind. So obsessed is our culture with youth that we never grow old, never leave the party. So obsessed with success that we cannot admit to the 'failure' of dying. So centred around ourselves that we cannot contemplate a world without ME, and so prepare for that fact.

But oddly we have the means at our disposal all the time. Something in us dies when we leave one school for another, one job for another, one town for another, one house for another- and all the rest of the deaths large and small which go with living. They could speak to us, if we let them. But let's not dwell on that- on to the next party!

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